The Crazy Coaster

        If the crazy coaster comes to your house don't get on it. I have several people in my life that suffer from mental illness and the coaster comes to my house often. In fact it is sitting right outside my door waiting for me to sit down. The jackals on board are howling with satisfaction if I climb on and weeping if I do not.  Sometimes the coaster seems tantalizing. I mean, what if it is different this time? What if I can make the course change? Sometimes it seems easier to join them in their self pity then the effort it takes not to. Especially for those who have the terrible habit that I do.  I have this stubborn quality that hates being wrong so if the invitation is an argument, I usually find it hard to say no. I also can't handle being rejected well nor do I like being insulted. When these things happen I fight back and have found myself smack dab in the middle of the coaster.
      The crazy roller coaster can even trick you. You think for sure this time you are not getting on and before you know it you are strapped in and headed for a downward spiral. I usually love roller coasters, but this is one coaster that I do not enjoy. Once you are on it, you are strapped in and thrust into a scary addictive series of twists and turns that you cannot control if you wished to. Yes, it is addictive....the rush of the roller coaster, but do not let the adreline rush reel you in.
      This coaster is sometimes subtle in presenting itself and you may not even realize your on it until it is too late. I have even ridden the coaster and later gave an excuse to why I got on. In my mind it was a good reason, but in the sane mind my excuse is illogical. Once you climb on, you have yielded control of your situation.  You are letting the driver, which is never you, have complete control.  When the coaster is run by my 11 year old I need to remember that I can climb into the drivers seat and put on the brakes on it. God is in control not the roller coaster operator.
      Instead of getting on the coaster you are to run from it, avoiding it at all costs. My wellness is critical for my family's sake. This last sentence was not reality for me last week. Last week I rode the coaster daily and was in constant state of dizziness. I wasn't contributing to my recovery, but instead was making the roller coaster more tantalizing of a choice.
     I have the choice NOT to get on that coaster. When I emotionally detach from the situation at hand, no matter how crazy, I can be a better mom to my children, a better wife to my husband, a better friend and most importantly a better child of God. When I focus on God and ask Him for guidance about the situation that the coaster is weaving into, then God is in control of the coaster. Wether the coaster is spiralling into someone's depression,or climbing rapidly into a heated argument, or all out mania, I can choose to ignore it. I can choose to "change the dance" by not climbing aboard.  If I have the urge to ride a roller coaster I need to go to Six Flags. Those coasters are definetly more fun.